Thursday, 7 April 2011

Déjà vu - Snit camp raised all over again.

We seemed to have come back to another time and place again this week in more than one way. Déjà vu SNIT Camp has come back into top of the cesspit  again. Again I have tried to ignore it and again I have failed miserably. Some of you know I am not exactly a full deck of cards as I have a couple of inter-related depression illnesses but I think the full disclosure is necessary when someone (JW) on Ravelry reappears. Be warned this is a rant post so if you want to move on do so now.
Think calming thoughts think calming thoughts 
Earlier this week I had a routine psychiatric review to confirm my diagnosis and need for medication script. Basically the NHS guidelines recommend that if you have been on these meds for more than 12 months they want to confirm that it was necessary and appropriate for you. My new GPs (about 12 months new) who seem to be a lot more proactive than my old UK GP sent me in for the required full psychiatric assessment to confirm that my perscription was appropriate. So I spent the other day at the local mental health assessment unit and was prodded and poked. Yes I can confirm that I am one brick short of a bbq but don't have another mental health illness than the ones I already knew about. As the psych commented it should be expected with your medical issues that you have pain related depression especially with your long term history of PSTD and SAD. No Shit Sherlock tell me something I don't already know.  

Don't worry I was polite cause I was very very conscious how close I was to the secure unit. You can not knit inside the secure unit because knitting needles are considered to be too high a risk. The outcome from this review is that I am getting my anti-Ds script confirmed.

I have been managing PSTD for over 30 years and some years are ok others not so. Christmas is my worst time as my stress trauma event is focused on Christmas Eve. Added to the PSTD is the issue of SAD I am a little (a lot) worse when it comes to a winter and Christmas combined.  Throw in a couple of auto immune illnesses such as OA/RA and now ?Fibromyalgia (still waiting for confirmation of the last one), and that explains the pain related depression. But as I am aware of all these issues and I use my light box, medication, exercise, talking therapy and family support to keep my head above the water. I also use a distraction technique of Knitting. Ok so here I am being upfront about my previous mental health history and now starts the rant.

Recently a special snowflake (JW) has been on Ravelry supposedly apologising about having an almost breakdown and how it was not her fault that Snit Camp  was a financial disaster. Sorry Honey the buck stops at you as you where the organiser of the Stirling Knit Camp event in 2010. I have just read the most insincere apology ever and OMG she sounds like a petulant teenager. I should know as I have two in the house at the moment. 
Falling down the rabbit hole of depression
Claiming that she had an almost breakdown is just something I can not swallow. I have tried to ignore the post for two weeks now but I cant. I am so steamed about it that I wont reply on Ravelry cause I know I wont be polite. I know about a depression breakdown and the effects it can have on an individual as I have been there and done that and never ever ever want to go back there type of experience of it. Not being able to feel, make minor decisions like what clothes to put on, missing chunks of time and the inability to communicate with family let alone the rest of the world. You do not have the ability to function socially or emotionally. So how the hell could you do a uni course and continue to play with your children and everything including a supposed research trip to France??? Don't claim that you have a mental illness when you don't as you undermine those who do and we have enough stigma and crap in our lives already.

I thought JW would at least attempt to pay her creditors before she had the gall to reappear in public. But to come out with an insincere apology and the continued non payment of monies owed just does not help her cause or improve my opinion of her -JW. It has just stirred up the whole drama all over again.

I want to thank the other ones who have continued to challenge the gall of this woman like JaneKAL and her recent efforts to get the word out including this post.  Keep up all the good work.