Sunday, 30 December 2012

End of Year Review 2012

Well Seasons Greetings all.  May you and yours be safe and well.

This year had been a bit of a dark one but for me the light at the end of the tunnel is that there is a new year starting in a couple of days. 

Ry has come home from University for the Christmas holidays and I have finally moved of the nebuliser every two hours.  I have moved through to four hourly and now to six hourly.  Still have the classic smokers cough even though I have never smoked a day in my life.  

Life has to get better and I keep holding onto that thought.  Given how I have been bitten so many times by this and that in the last couple of years I have decided that 2013 will be the year of micro baby steps.  If I can move a centimetre or a quarter of an inch I will be ecstatic about any achievement.

The goal for next year is to be standing, able to walk ten meters and to be compus menus long enough to cope with returning to university next September.  That gives me nine months to get out my current permanent residence the day bed.

Craft wise I am also taking micro baby steps to finish at least one project and then go from there.  I have so many things on the needles that I just haven't finished. I think if I can work the different project bags down to a manageable size I will start to feel better.   There will be some projects I know I will have to frog as I will not have a hope or a prayer of working out where I am up to or have lost the instructions.  Somethings you can't work out if you lose the resurrection sheet.  There is just no coming back to it if the project sheet is lost.

Next year I will have no trouble going on a cold sheepie or doing a stash down as the only time I ever leave the house now at all seems to be for medical appointments.  2012 will always be remembered as the year I was medically retired but now for 2013 I hope to find a new life were I find ways to enjoy old passions like knitting, spinning and other creative endeavours again.  

Best wishes for all and may you have a great 2013.

Friday, 30 November 2012

Practicing to be Darth Vader AGAIN!

November struck hard and not long after Rh birthday I was diagnosed with having Pneumonia thanks to my daughter bring freshers flu home from university,

Currently doing by great job practicing to play the Darth Vader us oldies know from the original trilogy of Star Wars.  Me and the nebuliser have been great bestest friends for the whole month.  

The black dog meds had started to kick in but thanks to not being able to go to uni due to being a one long hacking cough as I try to keep my lungs in my chest cavity rather than over the floor I have had a bit more of a set back.  I have had to defer again.  When will I ever get well enough to go to class.

I haven't been knitting at all. I can honestly say I have picked up a needle since Christmas.  I have had done some other craft only cause daughter needed running repairs but other than that nada zip zilch.

Friday, 12 October 2012

The Black Dog

Like many individuals I suffer from the black dog also known as depression and anxiety.  It  might surprise some people who have met me in person that I have to deal with mutt.  My black dog comes from a number issues such as PTSD and SAD.  The Seasonal Affective Disorder was a problem in the tropics but when I moved further into a temperate climate it became more of a problem. I am one of these people who need sunshine to be sunny. 

Since the summer I have been in a downward spiral which I tried to ignore how bad I was getting as I was being pigheaded about needing to be medicated again.  I don't like medication I hate medication so I try to use exercise and light to help.  I was being pig headed about needing to be medicated so early in the season.  Normally I can get to January before getting to the point of Ok it is time for Meds. But not this year. In January I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the count down to spring. 

This time the DH organised (cajoled, strongly suggested, frog marched) me into making an appointment and seeing the doctor.  Yeap I really like scoring so high on the depression index (24/28) So it is back on the meds and hopefully we will start to see an improvement in about four weeks when the meds finally start to kick in.

Friday, 5 October 2012

Clear there is a heart beat ! MARK 2

After thinking that I was getting better I managed to get my arse bit.  So after 9 months in a bed I have started to get back.  OMG I have not done any knitting or fibre stuff since Nov 2011 and it almost Nov 2012.  Long story short - developed another label. New label clashes with existing hyper mobility syndrome fibromyalgia and everything else wrong with this lemon of a body.  White Coat Quacks finally worked out a solution medicine wise and I am the mend slowly.

Have had to restart my first year of my degree but I am so happy that I have some of a clue of what is going on while I am working on developing my strength and endurance.  I have become the absolute queen of the Granny Nap and I am still getting confused about days and times.  The meds at one stage created some short term memory issues but we are working on addressing that and it appears that the new meds are not so bad.  I have driven the car for the first time in over 11 months last week and am slowly getting the driver confidence back.  That first trip on the Motorway was a white knuckle ride.

Life has changed yet again for me.  My working life has undergone a radical change and now I am a full time student.  It was a scary move last week when I returned to the university classroom after being a invalid for so long.  So now I am starting a new journey and attempting to find my balance amongst the circumstances of my existance.

Thanks for all those who have sent get well messages and where are you pokes. It has helped in the long term recovery.  I might not have been here without you all and I am so glad I am now able to say thank you.

Best wishes and I hope I get back into the swing of posting with the wardrobe change for the blog.