Saturday, 13 August 2011

Startitis or Olympic standard Nana Napping

Since Monday all I have seemed to do knitting wise is cast on and cast on repeatedly.  Yes the symptoms are in for a case of startitis.  The differential diagnosis process has led me to believe that this condition had struck again.

  • more sets of needles spread around the preferred seating location along with paper patterns, needle rolls, project bags and sssh! swatches.
  • more pdf files on the desktop of the laptop which is located on the left arm of the preferred seating location  also known as mother's couch in this household.
  • all the sides round the couch have work baskets that been dragged out from their lounge room hiding places and are creating a trip hazard for the rest of the family.
  • a worried dog looking over the pile of headhog frames (what else to do you call dpns when there is a sock cast on them).  The dog is worried cause he is thinking how the heck to I get to my food bowl and will she kill me I walk out with one of her projects around my neck or leg again.
  • repeated mutterings of "german long tailed stretchy cast on, turkish twisted cast on, garter tab cast on".
  • although the knitter concerned has short hair she has a dpn holding her fringe up off her face as this hair has been twisted up out of the way as it was annoying her.
  • The knitter is muttering about a lost dpn which she had just a minute ago and can not find anywhere totally forgetting about the one that is holding up her fringe.
  • a number of half completed projects which show absolutely no further progression even though one or two of them only need seaming or two french knots so they could cross over from works in progress to completed objects.  As the two simple french knots have not been done it is definitely not finishitis.
Mutley on the other couch
The causes of this condition.
Now the causes of startitis is pretty well unknown as it seems to randomly strike but this week's dose I am blaming on the new medication regime. Yes really. I am. The pain quack, the blessed Saint Anesthete, is trying to find me the new optimum dosage for my fibromyalgia and I have been having a new cocktail combination in my dorsett box. I don't remember much of Wednesday day between 10am and 6pm. Not much at all and I had to tink back my knitting. As one of key knitting commentators whom I actually pay attention to says "Good friends dont let friends knit drunk". Ms Pearl-Mcphee (aka the Yarn Harlot) advises it is never a good thing and I so agree to the point where I want to amend this advice phrase to "Good friends dont let friends knit drunk or as high as a kite".

These are not the needles I am looking for.

So of the side effects of the new medication combinations beside complete out of body moments is bouts of confusion. Did I or did I not cast something on from my never ending ravelry queue and extensive xmas list? No I have not got any lace on the go at the moment totally forgetting about the three projects I have cast on in the last 24 hours. As I have fallen asleep yet again I have dropped another newly started project onto the floor and out of my line of sight.  Where are all my needles?  Confusion is reigning the couch.

I think I am going to apply to compete in the granny napping world championship and then the Olympics as I believe I am starting to get into the elite sports standard.  Do you think the Australian or Republic of Ireland Olympic committees would consider this lump for the nana napping events? I could do the sprint as I am getting under the 1 minute time splits. This is where you take medication with a cuppa and go to sleep before you have a chance to pour the rest the cuppa down your gullet or even return the mug a level surface. Side effect is the potential to spill hot liquid down your front but I could also do the hurdles too. The ability to take medication, fall asleep holding your mug upright and not spill any hot liquid on yourself. Some days I stumble but that is where my fencing jacket aka duna (translation: douvet) comes in handy as it help to protect my skin from liquid burns but I normally end up washing it and its cover a couple of times a week. Why yes my couch (mother's couch) is set up as a day bed and I routinely have a duna around me even in Summer?  We are talking the English summer here it gets terribly wet and cold. I probably would not be selected as I expect that I would fail the drug testing mainly due to the steroids I take to keep breathing.  Cherio now I am off to take my constitutional siesta. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ