Yet another late Christmas letter cause I am a totally disorganised bugger who has failed at Motherhood 101 yet again. I failed last year when I sent the begging letter and you could of helped out more cause many of the same requests are on this year's letter.
Could you lend me a team of your elves for the next 12 months as I still have a long list which are very similar to last year's request?
If the elves come they can help me with the following:
- Find the floor of my children’s bed rooms
- Do the house work that I am so behind with
- Help me to clean up the house and put everything away in an organised manner so I can find things when I am looking for them.
- Select, shop or make and then wrap the Christmas presents
- Make the Christmas cake and plum pudding that I normally do in the October half term and for the second year in a row did not do cause I was totally disorganised in this case too busy earning dosh to pay the household bills which was better than last year with the lergy.
- I still need the attitude adjustment from last year cause I yet again giving the Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge a run for their money in the Bah humbug stakes.
- Let the family understand that I am going to decorate with yarn on Xmas Eve cause I can not
findbe arsed to locate the Christmas ornaments (again) and no I wont be putting our tree up on Xmas Eve. See I am a little bit of traditionalist and I do maintain the 12 days of Christmas. No I am not going to change my mind I have not in the last 20+ years we have been living together J so it aint going to be happening this year.
- Give me enough breathing room so I can actually retain some of brain functions or is that a semi balanced mental state and not keep losing personal items such as car keys, work passes, purses, eye glasses and diary due to being stressed out to the max which causes a complete loop failure in my working memory.
- I need a time turner gadget like Hermione has in the Harry Potter books cause I am so behind in my xmas knitting that I need to distort the time continuum. If not Hermione's gadget the Tardus would do.
- Can we have some peace in our world but I would settle for some calm in our household were we are not lurching from one crisis to another.
Yes I have started to turning into that deranged mother and wife, who is terrorising her family and the rest of the community with her continual emotional meltdowns which are now on looped repeat. Yes I am doing my role play as an inpatient at the local maximum security psychiatric hospital and I am sure people are starting to talk about my tick.